damien rice fills my room, and i am taken back to a time when i loved someone else. it's amazing what time does. i swore i would love kaleb forever, but now i know what i deserve-true, deep, passionate love... and it makes me smile. i thought i knew what love was, but hindsight is 20-20. everything i thought i knew has been turned upside down.
that's not to say i didn't love kaleb. anyone who knows me knows exactly how much i loved him. but the fact of the matter, if it was love, TRUE love, my heart wouldn't have been broken. because true love is selfless. it doesn't cheat.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
a part of me will always love kaleb. you can't love someone that much, that deeply, without it leaving permanent traces on the heart.
Moonbeams dance around
the darkness,
Round and round they
twirl
Silken silver rays, in
dappled forest glades,
To and fro they whirl.
I sit in the silence,
peaceful and alone,
But my mind is like the
moonlight.
It dances round, not
stopping for a turn.
I didn't catch the
message in the wind's whisper.
Did you?
Round and round the
light twirls
To and fro it whirls
Try to pin it down…
But it cant be tamed,
its only a moonbeam.
Its just like me.
Round and round I twirl
To and for I whirl.
My tears catch the
moonlight
As I cry, cry, cry, All
for you.
Didn't you know?
For forests make for
faraway ears,
And minds scatter like
patches of moonlight.
The whole world is
spinning,
Taking me with it.
Round and round it
twirls,
To and fro it whirls.
And I cant stop it. I
wont try to!
Ill lie here, with my
back pressed to the earth.
It will spin on without
me.
Without me….
Just for awhile until I
catch my breath.
Like a merry-go-round
ill get back on.
But tonight I need to
miss you.
Soon enough I'll forget
With just a scar as a
memory.
But for now,
Round and round I twirl
To and fro I whirl.
With the world…
the truth of the matter is, it's just music. i can easily turn it off and walk away. it's the music of yesterday, and it's no longer relevant. for just a moment i close my eyes and let myself remember, let myself grieve for my loss. but then, i let go. life goes on, and so will i. it's all part of the healing process, the act of learning to love again.
So goodnight moonbeams,Dance on all night,
twirling, whirling, sweet dreams, Goodnight.
