I
am tired of allowing you to make me cry.
I
swore I would never let anyone put me in this position again. It’s all you do.
You
mock me, you blame me, you know exactly
what buttons to push to get me upset. And the worst part it, I always blame
myself. Whether or not I should is up for debate.
But
this is what happens with the turning of each page, the close of each month. I watch you fall out of love with
me all over again.
And no matter what I do, how many letters I write, songs I croon to you, how much I
make time for you, offerings I make to your glow, nights I howl at your retreating and rising figure… you lose your emotional intimacy with
me. I grow clingy, you push away. And when I’m upset I no longer absorb any of
the love you have reserved for me, because I so clearly see the absence of it
more.
You’re
holding out on me.
There’s
more to give.
It’s
not enough.
I
find myself hating you for not loving me like you do when we’re together.
The moon becomes a stranger once more.
Because
my love for you is constant – it does not wax and wane with the passing of
time. I can hold onto the memory of holding you like it would save my life.
But
you… you cannot.
There
will not always be a tomorrow to save the day.
There
will not always be a plane to carry me to you.
One
day there will be too much time insulating us from one another.
And
that is the day you will stop loving me.
Until
then, faithfully yours I remain.
